“Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul”
I love this quote from Tumblr blog, Yeah, That Needs to Go, and not because I love poetry (especially dark poetry), but because of the phrase, ‘your mixed up soul.’ I’ve talked in previous posts about how when I really began to dedicate my time and focus to my yoga practice, I thought it would automagically turn me into a blissfully sane, ‘right-acting’ person with pristine karmic record. In fact, I thought that if I practiced yoga and meditated enough, I could bury or walk away from anything within myself that was less than pure love and light.
The reality is, if you walk steadfast on your spiritual path (whatever that is for you) you will likely run smack dab into your Vader-like “Dark Side”; the ‘un-enlightened’, selfish part of yourself. And that’s the time to face it, acknowledge it, learn from it and grow from it.
If you catch yourself being irritated by someone easily, snapping at a loved one, reacting in a way that is more ego than love, face it. Don’t turn away or justify your actions with self-talk, truly look into your darkness. The deeper you look into that abyss, the sooner you will see that there truly is the light and love that you seek.
“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” -August Wilson, American playwright
About two years ago, I drove into my neighborhood to find police cars around my driveway and on the street. A sense of panic washed over me as I thought of my dogs inside the house. To my bittersweet delight … Continue reading →
I once had an intense meditation experience in which I saw what I later discovered was my fear. It was this horribly ugly, misshapen, gray blob. It was like a weird Cartoon Network creature. It had one eye, some random … Continue reading →
We often talk about fear as a by-product of not being present, of letting our thoughts consume our identity. However, there are those times when fear dangles us off the precipice of change and we can transform it into courage.
I recently took a leap of faith and left the comfortable discontent of a corporate job. I struggled with the concept for almost a year, going back and forth about why I should or shouldn’t leave — with both extremes being tent poles of fear. In the end, I decided that fear in the form of excitement, anticipation, nervousness, and uncertainty that comes with change was the more appealing option. So, I lept.
But, I didn’t feel brave. Not at first. I felt like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade, when he came to a deep cavern with no bridge to get him across. His choice was to turn back, or to move ahead and trust that the bridge will be there when he needs it. He was given instructions that the bridge would appear once he stepped off of the ledge.
Like Indy, I decided that I would take the the walk of faith, and step off the ledge. And, just like the message in the movie, there was a bridge to get both of us across the abyss. The universe delivered the support I didn’t even know I needed, and I was able to turn fear into motivation and strength.