I don’t know about you, but I used to be the kind of person that could really hold a grudge, I mean championship, award-winning grudge-holding. I thought I was honoring myself my not giving up that punishment of another.
The truth is, holding on to that animosity is toxic. Do you really feel better now that you’ve officially cut someone out of your life, “defriended” them on Facebook, or just froze them out passively hoping to forget those hard feelings?
Whether you make a grand gesture to reconnect with someone whom you feel has wronged you or simply choose to consciously forgive them in your heart, you will immediately feel a sense of completeness. That “closure” you were looking for wasn’t in the venom. The antidote is forgiveness.
Sometimes the hardest things we do in life turn out to be the best for us; the most rewarding. Sending love to a boss who seems to have it out for you, or an ex who has hurt you may seem impossible. “Why would I send them love? They don’t care about me…, [insert additional justifications here.]” Why? Because we are all connected. Don’t believe in the new age concept? How about physics? Mass–energy equivalence states that the mass of a body is a measure of its energy content. That is, mass is a property of all energy, and energy is a property of all mass; both are connected by a constant. That all energy is relative is represented by the famous equation E = mc2.
So, knowing that at a fundamental level, we are all one energy, it becomes conceptually easier to believe that forgiveness of others is forgiveness of ourselves.
This type of exoneration, goes both ways. For it means that we should extend the same opportunity to people with whom you may need to make amends. Apologizing affords someone whom we may have hurt the opportunity to forgive. It’s definitely not easy to approach someone from your past, hat in hand, but you can feel the” rightness” in your soul.
First and foremost, though, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, forgiveness and acceptance starts with yourself. How could you begin to acquit others for their harms against us if we don’t go easier on the person in the mirror?
It’s taken me a long time to cultivate peace with exactly who I am right now through yoga. Letting go of self-punitive judgement on the mat taught me that I haven’t always been kind or merciful with myself. In the beginning, if I couldn’t quite rise up and sink effortlessly into Warrior I from a high lunge, I’d deduct points mentally. I was literally robbing myself of the money I’d paid to take the class. So, gradually, I began to relinquish control and establish myself firmly in my perfect imperfection.
Let go of the toxic harboring, open your heart and give yourself the opportunity to experience freedom through forgiveness.
-Your Charmed Yogi