Tag Archives: Happiness

When you can’t make everyone happy

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I often joke about being like a Golden Retriever.  I’ve always been the person that tries to make others happy, and if I make someone unhappy, it makes my heart hurt.  And of course there’s the flood of obsessive thoughts on how I can rectify the situation.

At work, if you pat me on my head, I run off with my tail wagging looking to produce more biscuit-worthy results. When I’m teaching, I get immense satisfaction when I send students home feeling relaxed and accomplished. Even at the holidays, I’m happier giving gifts.  I love to watch people light up.

But we all know the age old saying, “You can’t make everyone happy all of the time.”

In fact, chances are if you made an enemy or pissed someone off it means that you stood up for something you believe in, or for yourself.

So how do us ‘people pleasers’ cope? First, recognize that it is exhausting to live for someone else’s happiness and begin to witness when you’re putting someone else first unnecessarily. Sure, you may have to put your child’s need for dinner above your own need for downtime, but I’m talking about the constant ‘back seat taking’ we do with our own energy.

We must bear witness when we find ourselves constantly deeming others’ happiness as more important than our own.  We have to do some soul-searching to understand why we feel the need to find ‘validation’ outside of our own being. And, we have to give ourselves the same amount of energy we give others, or we find ourselves depleted.

Does this mean that we should no longer try to help people or have compassion? No it doesn’t. It simply means, that we should stop trying to make others happy as a means to find satisfaction. It’s a short-lived attachment. Rather, allow your authentic self to shine through.  If people like it, great.  If some don’t, who cares.   You WILL rub some people the wrong way, and quite frankly, that’s their issue.

But, you will have unearthed a truer you, and there’s no greater peace than sitting in the seat of your authentic ‘self.’

Namaste.

- Your Charmed Yogi

(Photo: Pinterest)

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Give it up for happiness

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Happiness-Hands

‘Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things,  it will come and sit softly on your shoulder ~ Thoreau’

We all want happiness, but what would you give up to have it? There’s a story of a man who, unfulfilled by life, once told the Buddha, “I want happiness.”  Here’s what Buddha said…

i want happiness

Namaste.

- Your Charmed Yogi

(Photo is courtesy of the talented Gavin at Zen Pencils)

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Your extraordinary life

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arm with extraordinary tattoo

I love this post from Amber of My Crazy Healthy Life blog.  A beautiful story of transformation and a desire to help others embrace their ‘extraordinary-ness’ and live a wholesome life.

“Make your life extraordinary” has been my mantra for the past fourteen years. Somewhere in my late twenties, I realized that regular just doesn’t work for me–I want more out of life. And so began my quest to become extraordinarily healthy. I traded in my running shoes for a yoga mat, stopped eating meat, and learned how to meditate. My new life was anything but regular. It also made me stronger, healthier, and happier than I had ever been before. Read the full post.

Namaste.

- Your Charmed Yogi

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(Photo: WeLoveIt)

Smile it up, yogi

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Source: Pinterest

It’s said that laughter is the best medicine, and I agree wholeheartedly.  Like crying, laughter is an emotional release that can have lasting benefits.  Laughing reduces stress, relieves pain and even boosts the immune system.  Plus, a good hearty laugh can be a good ab workout.   Studies show that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and seratonin.  The sad truth is, however, we don’t laugh nearly enough. Continue reading →

If you’re happy and you know it, just sit there

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woman happy yoga

“You are already happy. The reason you don’t experience it is that it’s covered up by layers of suppressed emotions and negative thoughts. Shift your attention and your inherent happiness flashes forth.” – Steve Ross The other day, I had … Continue reading →

Live your unhappiness?

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Everyday, I see blog posts, twitter updates, articles, videos, websites, etc. dedicated to finding happiness. We’ve actually begun to place so much pressure on ourselves to find happiness, that we’re making ourselves unhappy.

Happiness is an emotional state, something we feel as a result of some superficial event. Now, I’m not trivializing those things in our life that make us feel good, but rather suggesting that they are fleeting. And, if we’re constantly chasing that feeling, we become happiness tweakers.

Joy, on the other hand, is born of the heart and is always there. We just need to open ourselves up to accepting it into our lives. Seems like a semantic argument, right? Maybe.

“So, wait, are you saying I should wallow in pity, depression and unhappiness?”

Nope. What I’m saying is that we should let the circumstances that come in and out of our lives just be as they are without allowing them to create any type of turbulence — positive OR negative.

Think about a time when you were in a relationship, and you allowed someone’s existence to dictate your happiness. We’ve all done it. Significant other calls = happy. Significant other mistreats us = unhappy.

This relationship dynamic is metaphor for our larger addiction to feeling good due to external influences. I remember seeing a quote that said something to the effect of, “Joy is a condition of spirit that so fills my being, that no amount of happiness or unhappiness can cast it out.”

Still, I’m not saying that you should disregard those things or people in your life that bring you emotional happiness, but bring awareness to your attitude and reaction.

Do you easily get caught up in negativity if something doesn’t quite go your way? Do you allow negative thoughts to occupy your mind, or do you think positively and encourage lovingly rather than acting harshly?

Be mindful of self-judgement when posing these questions. It’s a difficult concept to grasp that Joy exists outside the emotional realm.

“Sometimes your JOY is the source of your
smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your JOY. “
– Thich Nhat Hanh

Happiness and unhappiness are something that we can achieve. Achieve equating with mind, judgement and future. Joy is something that we are, it is presence, it is everywhere.

” The final step in the eight-fold path of Yoga is the attainment of Samadhi. Samadhi means “to bring together, to merge.” In the state of samadhi the body and senses are at rest, as if asleep, yet the faculty of mind and reason are alert, as if awake; one goes beyond consciousness. During samadhi, we realize what it is to be an identity without differences, and how a liberated soul can enjoy pure awareness of this pure identity. The conscious mind drops back into that unconscious oblivion from which it first emerged.” – William Doran.

This is union

This is Joy

Be mindful of how you treat others and yourself. Live a truthul, non-violent existence. Meditate. Just Be.

Ananda.

- Your Charmed Yogi

Photo credit: Lifestyles of Health & Sustainability

Live your dash to the fullest…

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joseph campbell quote on bliss

There’s a poem by Linda Ellis of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on his coffin,
from the beginning…. to the end.  He spoke of what mattered most were not the dates of his friend’s birth and his death, but the dash — the tiny dash — that represents what happens between.  Life.

Awesome reminder that this, we have now.  There are opportunities to live life to your fullest every where you look.  It’s not on the television, and it’s not even in a book.  The first date on your memoir has already happened and each day, you approach that second date. How are you living your dash?

In the song, “It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding),” Bob Dylan says, “…that he not busy being born is busy dying.”

There are countless people throughout history who have lived and ARE living their dashes to the fullest:  Sri Tirumalai Krishnamacharya (November 18, 1888 – February 28, 1989; Mahatma Ghandi  (2 October 1869 – 30 January 1948);  Mother Teresa (26 August 1910 – 5 September 1997); Martin Luther King, Jr. (January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968); The Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso (6 July 1935 –      ).

You don’t have to have a bucket list of goals that you check off one by one as a sense of achievement.  Merely practicing gratitude and presence everyday and opening your eyes to life around you will do just fine.  Follow your heart, and the universe will provide everything you need.

Whether you aspire to achieve the Nobel Peace Prize or just to reach the end of your life never having said the words, “I wish I had…,” it’s never too late to start living your dash to the fullest.

 

Namaste.

-Your Charmed Yogi