If you’re over the age of 25, you probably remember listening to music on cassette tapes and the awesomeness and tribulations that went with it.
Skipping forward wasn’t as easy as pressing an arrow, there was skill involved. Go too far, and you missed the awesome intro of Danger Zone. Stop short, and you’re playing a game of trying to find the exact end of the song.
The beauty was that we didn’t realize how life was pacing us vs. today, when we try to out-pace life. You appreciated the next song and the anticipation WAS the journey.
So, just for today, see if you can bring awareness to the times you’re trying to ‘skip to the next song’ and allow yourself to wait it out. I promise, the next moment is there – live in this one.
Too much of the media circus around yoga leads people to believe that it is a practice exclusively for super models and contortionists. Nothing could be further from the truth. U.S. News & World Report ran a story about Sarah Shaffer, a high school student who practices yoga to relax and improve her running.
The full story is below but the last line is the one that got me choked up.
When I was little and I was too invested in what someone thought of me, or what someone else did in comparison to myself, my mother would say “Just worry about you.”
Often, this was said when I was concerned that my brother had an extra Oreo or was able to get away with something I previously hadn’t, but the saying still plays out in my mind — often.
If I catch myself pontificating about why someone isn’t meeting an expectation, I parrot her words to myself, “Just worry about yourself.” We are the only ones we can control after all, and even that is questionable. We can control our own actions and how we respond to situations, but not the situation itself (unless directly caused by our actions). As Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand.”
It might initially sound very ‘un-yoga’ to suggest that you worry about yourself, but I’m not talking about becoming self-centered, without regard for others. But, rather focus on knowing your Self by acting with love for others, and not allowing your mind or ego dictate your worth.
The Bhagavad Gita talks, in length, about the “Self,” particularly about getting to know the infinite self — the self that is beyond thought, beyond change. Through meditation and living a sattvic life (a life of goodness and purity), we will know the self that transcends manifestation and destruction.
Sounds ethereal and unattainable, but I like to break it down into individual moments. How can I know myself? I can become aware of my emotions, actions and reactions. I can attempt to observe these actions as a witness. I can do my best to act with purity of heart.
We can also become aware of when we experience ‘want’ and compare ourselves to others. On the yoga mat, for example, worry about yourself — really. Don’t worry about what your neighbor is doing or what you think your practice should be. Just focus on your breath, your SELF.
I came upon a YouTube video recently that reminded me how much I use this method of quelling desire. It’s of a little girl named August who’s trying to get her seat belt buckled all by herself. It’s hilarious. You’ll watch it over and over like I did.
When we truly know our own ‘Self’, we transcend reaction and suffering. And, we become infinite.
At some point in our lives we’ve all felt that sense of ’Where do I belong?’ There may be a catalyst like the loss of a parent, a move, a divorce or no catalyst at all. Chances are, you’ve had that feeling of being lost or untethered and wondered where you’re supposed to be. And the answer is, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Sometimes we feel lost because of decisions we’ve made, and other times we feel lost because life has made decisions for us. There’s a quote by Henry David Thoreau that helps me when I’m feeling out of place, “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”
Feeling lost can manifest itself in a number of ways from skipping time on your mat to feeling anxious, sad or alone. But, if you can see the positives during this time, you will see that it’s during these times that we learn the most about ourselves.
Think about a time that you got lost in your car only to discover a fascinating new place that you didn’t even know existed. We can find the same gems within ourselves; places in our hearts that we didn’t know were there all along.
Are you feeling lost? The only GPS you need is your own heart.
Try writing a letter or a journal entry about the sensations and emotions you’re feeling, and examine what part of you may be looking for your attention or acceptance.
It is like going into town. One can approach from the north, from the southeast, from many roads. Often these systems just differ outwardly. Whether you walk one way or another, fast or slow, if you are mindful, it is all the same. There is one essential point that all good practice must eventually come to- not clinging. In the end, all meditation systems must be let go of.
It may seem naive, but I really believe that if we all began to act from a place of love that all suffering would stop including our own. The concept of ‘paying it forward’ is not knew. You know the idea that if you do something nice for someone you don’t even know, that the niceness will catch on. But I think this concept of karma works in an even more cyclical way than we might think.
If you’ve ever made a gesture such as buying lunch for the person behind you in line, or paying for the next car’s toll, you know that it feels good and you probably made someone’s day (or at least lightened it for a moment). I also believe that the act of gratitude we feel toward our own hearts for having done such an act, opens us up further. It’s as if kindness toward someone else has a boomerang effect as well as a forward propulsion — it bounces back and our own act of love makes way for more kindness and acts of love. We feel lighter, and more equipped to face the day to come.
Plus, we begin to break through the hard shell that sometimes builds up around our own heart. Simply kicking in a door and taking that first step toward acting from a place of love, and we soften.
So, don’t just think of good karma as something that only moves in a forward direction, but more like a tide that flows in and flows out. Open yourself up to letting a little kindness flow, and feel what flows back in.
This powerful statement is one of the most incredible lessons I learned working with my therapist and coach, the amazing Brian. I used to think of settling as such a negative word, as if it meant we were somehow giving up or selling ourselves short by settling. Brian turned that around for me.
I learned this lesson in a big way yesterday when I secured my new apartment.
It’s all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone
Over the past few months, I’ve had a handful of ‘crises’ to handle that seemed to pile one on top of another. But that’s how it goes right? When we feel we can’t handle any more, we are faced with another situation to do just that — handle it. And we get through it. Breath by breath, I realized that as each moment passed, I was one more moment through the chaos.
Most recently, my 9 year old dog, Hattie, tore her ACL. This is the second in two years that required invasive surgery with a long rehabilitation. I’d heard that there’s a very good chance that a dog who tears one ACL will tear the other within a year or so. Ironically, I did everything I could to protect her from exactly the situation we’re in now. What I’ve learned, though, is that Hattie doesn’t think about the previous surgery or what the future holds. She just knows what’s happening now; she adjusts her gait; she rests; and she faces the moment with whatever adjustments need to be made — without thought.
Dogs are our ultimate yoga teachers. If only we could all learn to take each moment wag by wag.
Today kicks off the first day of the 21-Day Challenge where at the start of each day, I'll be checking in to reflect on what I did that was mindful and how I plan to carry this through my day. You can read more about how this challenge works here.
